Nobody wants to be a yes-man (or woman), but that doesn’t make it any easier to say no to your boss. Whether you’re being asked to increase your workload, take on a task that you believe is a bad idea, or work on a weekend, how do you tactfully decline?
“People have a hard time saying ‘no’- period - and when you introduce power, it gets exponentially worse,”
- Joseph Grenny.
Yet, good bosses appreciate employees who have the confidence to say no. if you ask around, most say they’re willing to listen to sound reasoning to find a solution. In essence, it’s all about how you frame and phrase it.
Instead of declining the request and walking away, here are seven tips for delivering an effective, non-opposing “no”:
1. Avoid a power struggle
Begin by acknowledging that the decision is ultimately your boss’s. Clarify that by saying, ‘I have strong opinions on what is the right answer but I understand this is your call,’” he says. “Otherwise the subject can become a power struggle.”
It’s not who is right, it’s what is right.
Sometimes a “no” is a battle not a war, and you need to know the difference. Ask yourself what the worst outcome may be from saying ‘no’ and write this down. Decide which appears to have the biggest impact on your current workload and future with the company.
2. Acknowledge that you ultimately have the same goals.
Members of the military say to salute the flag before you disagree with a senior officer, says Grenny. The same is true in business. Keep in mind that your ultimate goal is the same: to further the company.
“Your mutual higher purpose is to serve, and your job is to accomplish goals,” he says. “It’s not who is right, it’s what is right.”
3. Empathize
People are more open to having someone disagree with them if they feel deeply understood.
Listen to your boss’s arguments and concerns before voicing your own, and he’ll feel much less defensive if he feels heard. If you aren’t willing to change your opinion, don’t expect your boss to change his.
However, you can say, ‘I understand your perspective, and here’s another way to think about the situation’. If you have sound reasoning and honored their idea, your boss will be more open to listening.
4. Explain the consequences of the request
People often believe if their boss trusted them, they’d be willing to take a chance and follow their suggestion, but you shouldn’t make a disagreement personal when it doesn’t need to be, says Grenny.
Instead, draw power from the facts. After you’ve acknowledged the importance of the request, share how the new task might impact other projects. For example, it might take away needed resources or burden your workload. Then ask for a solution.
For example, is there something your boss could take off your plate to allow you the time to take on this project?
5. Share your facts.
Too often we get into a debate about conclusions. “If you want to say ‘no,’ and your boss wants you to say ‘yes,’ each of you has information that differs. Start by exposing where your facts are thin.
Acknowledge what you know to be true and tell your boss how it caused your conclusion. Ask how your boss came to his conclusion. If you’re simply in a no-yes argument, you’re arguing conclusions not facts.
Overall, your boss is your boss and you the employee, meanwhile, as you’ve just learnt, you can always convey your disagreements whenever you have one. Just ensure you’re doing it properly using the guidelines above.
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