If you want your relationship to flourish, then you
must pay good attention to these 12 points that
can help save your relationship from collapse.
must pay good attention to these 12 points that
can help save your relationship from collapse.
Cheating is definitely one quick, big way to
absolutely annihilate a relationship, but as a recent
Ask Reddit thread pointed out, there are plenty of
other things that are much more potent when it
comes to ruining even the strongest of bonds.
Some of the worst things that lead to a breakup
(that aren't cheating) start out small and
indiscernible, and that's what makes them so
dangerous.
absolutely annihilate a relationship, but as a recent
Ask Reddit thread pointed out, there are plenty of
other things that are much more potent when it
comes to ruining even the strongest of bonds.
Some of the worst things that lead to a breakup
(that aren't cheating) start out small and
indiscernible, and that's what makes them so
dangerous.
1. Lying to and hiding things from your partner.
Even if you're doing it out of love to protect their
feelings, keeping little things from someone you're
dating can grow into a big problem and cause
trust issues that wreck a relationship. As Reddit
user canada432 wrote, "You should be able to tell
your partner pretty much anything. If you're hiding
something because it would hurt them, then you
probably shouldn't do that thing in the first place."
2. Bickering about mundane, daily issues and
chores.
Sure, the argument you always have about
whose turn it is to take the trash out seems like no
big deal now, but that's the sort of thing that just
becomes a great issue over time, and even worse,
becomes ammo for bigger, more serious
arguments down the road.
whose turn it is to take the trash out seems like no
big deal now, but that's the sort of thing that just
becomes a great issue over time, and even worse,
becomes ammo for bigger, more serious
arguments down the road.
3. Harboring quiet resentment. As VoxMeretricis
wrote, "by the time resentment is expressed, the
damage is already done" to the relationship. It
starts out quietly but becomes something big over
time, which is what makes it so damaging.
damage is already done" to the relationship. It
starts out quietly but becomes something big over
time, which is what makes it so damaging.
4. Lack of communication. This doesn't mean not
texting all day every day, but failing to talk to each
other about things that bother you when they come
up or conveniently leaving out details that you think
might cause problems. All that shit just gets
bottled up or revealed eventually, and by the time
that happens, it's usually unmanageable.
5. Being stubborn about things or getting
entrenched in certain positions. This is just
another way of saying "refusing to compromise." If
you like somebody, you should be willing to
compromise. Partners who can only handle things
if they go a certain way (their way) are basically
just in relationships with themselves.
6. Withholding any kind of affection. Whether
affection means being really touchy-feely, asking
each other intense questions about meaningful
things, or helping each other through obstacles,
being absent and unaffectionate can cause the kind
of doubts in a relationship that end up being
irreparable.
7. Condescension . Talking down to a partner is
just another way of making yourself bigger or more
powerful than them, and a power imbalance is the
last thing you want in a lasting, healthy
relationship. As messedfrombirth wrote,
condescension is worse than cheating because "it
makes your self esteem shit," so even after the
relationship ends, you still feel the damage.
8. Staying in a relationship out of convenience.
Whether it's because you don't want to disappoint
your families with a breakup, or because you have
concert tickets in six months or whatever, staying
together just because you feel you should only
leads to bitter resentment and an inordinate
amount of fighting and heartbreak, when there was
a chance you might've been able to remain
friendly.
9. Manipulation. This is tricky because it's often
so subtle, and you don't realize your partner is
manipulating you (or you're doing the manipulating)
until it's way too late. As reallybigleg wrote, "the
relationships that have left me 'broken' (both of
which I left, by the way, so this isn't a case of
heartbreak...) have been through gradual loss of
self esteem during the relationship through a
process of manipulation by the other partner."
10. Jealousy. Even without actual cheating, just the
suspicion that it's always happening can be much,
much worse.
11. Presenting a false version of yourself at the
beginning. This can be as simple and small as
pretending to like horror movies when you actually
hate them or as big as saying you're not looking
for anything serious when, in fact, you are. It's best
to be upfront from the get-go, because those little
things can become huge reasons to breakup over
time.
12. Staying together because you've become
codependent. "You're together because you're
codependent and neither of you wants to be
single," wrote beaverteeth92. Or in other words,
you don't have chemistry anymore, and the only
reason you're together is so you don't have to be
alone.
Source: Cosmopolitan
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