Whether for sex, money or other favours, people tend to take advantage of others when they can. It can feel very saddening to realize that someone you trust does not have pure intention towards you and are only relating with you for what they can get.
Here are signs you are being used:
Makes demands: Having a relationship with someone (be it romantic, friendly, work) does not automatically give them the right to make endless demands. It shows that the only time you are useful to them is when they need whatever it is you provide. Keep an eye out for that person in your life who cannot seem to stop asking things of you.
No sacrifice: Conversely, if that person makes demands but has problems coming through for you, you should beware. Any relationship will only work if both feel like their needs are being fulfilled to some extent. So, if you do give them what they want, they should also come through for you too. If you notice they are hardly ever there for you when you need them, then you are most likely being used.
Action not matching words: When a user needs you, they will do all they can to convince you of how important you are and how much they appreciate/care about you. They always have the words to make you feel better when making requests. For example, the guy that proclaims his love just to get you to sleep with him, the girl flatters you for financial needs or the friend that only seem to have nice words when they want to borrow money. What you will notice is that once they get what they want, those words will never be proven. Only for them to return later with more empty words when they need you.
Guilt trip: Have you ever tried saying ‘No’ to a user? They automatically try to make you feel guilty. They might not outrightly lash out, but their response will make you feel a pang of guilt. You can get words like, “don’t you love me?” “You are not being supportive.” “Your mates are doing blah blah blah for their partners.” These words are meant to incite doubt in the hopes that you might give in.
You avoid confrontation: If you are naturally someone who avoids conflict, then you are more likely to have people in your life who would want to take advantage of you. Users generally do not go to people who they know can attack when even a little threatened. They find it easier to go for someone more easygoing and a pushover. This does not mean you should be aggressive if you feel used. It only means you should be watchful and conscious of the kinds of people you surround yourself with. If you are alert, you will spot a user miles away and stop things before they begin.
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